i thought ever since monday, things would go back to normal… or at least close to it. and it’s just taken a turn. again. after all we did on monday, even though we got caught, i thought it’d draw us closer in that certain way. i was wrong. maybe its just me. maybe im just too clingy. maybe i was just expecting something that didnt happen. i haven’t gotten a heart from you recently, nor has any mushiness occured. ugh. i hate this. i really do. i feel so.. pushed out of the way now. please. im begging you. tell me what’s going to happen. because i cant get this sense of doubt out of my head. i love you, vi.
it’s a new year. so fucking what. many of you say that you are not going to look back into the past year, thats fucking bullshit. you have no control over that. new years resolutions? half of you will break them within the first month. the other will just forget them. it’s just so annoying. a new year does not mean you become a new person just like that. a new year just means its a new year. its another day. it’s a new beginning. yeah. its the start of a new month. but it does not mean it’s a new beginning for you the minute the clock hits 12:00AM.
A day to remember. Her and I were just sitting down talking when the night took a turn. Her mom came home earlier than ever and I was stuffed under the bed… for 5 hours. Within those 5 hours, we thought of a plan, she watched Disney movies, and I found a comfortable spot on a router box on top of a typewriter with a hello kitty blanket over me to cover me, and in fetal position. She came to the bed and stuck her hand in between the crack from time to time. Her hand never felt better. And then we did the mission impossible. While her mom was sleeping, I snuck out from under the bed and went home. Even though the night had taken a turn, we still had the best time together. I love you <3
I love how they got loaded with gifts and I got a few. but I ain’t even mad. I got a new drum throne, assassins creed, black ops, 75 dollar gift card to pacsun, 25 dollars to hot topic, 50 dollar prepaid credit card, and a new iPhone charger. IM HAPPY.
i don’t know what to do. we argue constantly. i just want us to be stable, calm, and talking. and i want you to accept how i treat you. and then comes school. i’m doing fucking horrible first period. the reason why i’m retaking the class is because of the material that i missed last year when i got injured and then stopped going. but what happens this year? i get fucking sick, and miss the SAME material. there’s no fucking way that i can pass the class, especially with the way the teacher treats us. homework everyday, notebook checks about every week to two weeks, a quiz about two times a week, a test every week. does my teacher not realize that there are other classes we have and that it’s first period? i’m tired of school. the only thing thats keeping me up is global and guitar.
this is when i need you the most to keep me higher than that and help me.. but you don’t even want to talk to me.