my mom bought baileys just for me.
baileys, baileys, yeah yeah :D
me: hmm i wonder what's going on at facebook
everyone: new year new me
me: never mind
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
band member: hey what can i sign for you
me: just this piece of paper here please
band member: ok cool
band member: wait was that an adoption paper
me: no BYE
band member: WAIT
band member: SECURITY
Reaction to waking up to birds singing outside...
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I'm really picky about my porn.