“This is parkour. Internet sensation of 2004. And it was in one of the Bond films. It’s pretty impressive. The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible so technically they are doing parkour, as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.”—Jim Halpert (via lizayzay)
“Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next six years. It’s an Amish technique. It’s like… slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from age four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.”—Dwight Schrute (via jimhalperting)
"Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”
why do some girls feel the need to post on facebook or tumblr how much of ass holes “all guys” are? you should probably realize it’s YOUR fault for going out with ass holes. wake the fuck up. not all guys are ass holes.